Guest Post: Duck Faces, Brunching and Snapchat Filters. Come on, Ladies...

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"Snapchat filters make you look 16. The ones where you have on dog ears make you look 13. It's weird please stop!" - Rob

Last week a fellow swiper and WWSL reader sent me a message. After reading it a couple of times I KNEW I had to pass along his wisdom. My blogs have been very one sided (because I only look at dudes' profiles - which I should probably reconsider). This one is for you ladies, turns out we aren't that great at this online dating thing either...

(Yes I asked Rob for his permission to publish this. If any of you would like to submit insight/views/tips/comedic anecdotes - please do!)

Message: Dear Left Swiper,

You snagged an excellent domain name and the content is equally as good. Here's the thing that gets me: It seems the men get pretty chastised on here but just as in physics where "every action has an equal and opposite reaction" the same goes for the nonsense enacted by both sexes. So let's shed a little light on the other side of things as well. If we're going to do this dating thing both sides need to have some accountability.

* For every lame shirtless mirror selfie, there is a duck face waiting for us to swipe left on.

* Snapchat filters make you look 16. The ones where you have on dog ears make you look 13. It's weird please stop!

* It's not only guys holding babies. Every Denver woman appears to be the world's greatest aunt and wants you to know this all the while using someone else's child as a prop. 

* The cardboard sign on top of 14er's is not exclusive to any gender...That one just won't stop on either side of the aisle.

* No doubt there are profile pictures of bros gathering in herds but did you know that if all your profile pictures are of you and your group of friends brunching --> I. Don't. Know. Which. One. You. Are!

* So many questions for the ladies: Why is your entire set of pictures taken from the chin up? Why are they all blurry? How high were you when you took these?

* Car selfies are not exclusive to men. Everyone put the fucking phone down and maneuver that shitty Honda like the responsible driver you are. As an urban cyclist, you're giving me nightmares!

* Puppies are always OK. Proceed.

I enjoyed your take on the shitty Westword article. I don't believe it is the responsibility of anyone to "train" the other. Unless I happen to be someone's new Labradoodle who just whizzed on the rug that really held the room together, then train away by all means. Otherwise, this is just the definition of condescending.

Maybe I should send my profile your way for analysis...Thanks for the laughs and good luck!

- Rob

Katie Bessert1 Comment