These 3 questions BLOW:

I know you THINK you are being polite, but you are shooting yourself in the foot every time you ask a woman on a dating app:

  • "How are you?" / "How's it going?"
  • "How has your day/week/weekend/Tuesday been?"
  • "Any plans for the weekend?" 

Your questions are so fucking boring that it's like eating oatmeal for the 487th morning in a row and we can't stomach it anymore! Honestly. You are now a person, that is excitedly offering us plain oatmeal, and not understanding how we don't even have the energy to say "no thank you". We just roll our eyes and walk away.

IF YOU WANT A RESPONSE STOP SERVING US FUCKING OATMEAL!!!

Do you have any idea how many men we match with? No, seriously. I signed up for Clover 3 weeks ago and today have over 900 'likes', you guys 'like' all of us. I probably get 10 new messages per day on OKCupid. Do you know what they all say?!? I bet you can guess. 

At this point it is just white noise, YOU are white noise. Just a low buzz in the background until a dude that says something interesting comes along to make it worth our response. 

YOU CAN BE THAT DUDE!

Here are some sample conversation starters. Please use them as frequently as you can:

  • What has been the best 30 seconds of your day? 

  • If you had to take an animal, in an outfit, to a wedding; who would you take and what would they be wearing? 
  • What's the most interesting thing you've learned in the last week?
  • If you knew, in one hour, a lion was going to show up in the room you were currently in and only one of you would survive; how would you spend the hour preparing?
  • If your day was a fruit AND an animal, what would it be?
  • If any character from a movie could come to life and be your best friend, who/what would it be?

 

Disclaimer: If I sent you this link and you ask me one of these questions, thinking you're clever, you're not. Once again that's what all of you are doing. 

You will soon find out, your biggest foe in this dating app game, is blending the fuck in. You have GOT to stand out. Let me remind you - 900 matches in 3 weeks. Be unique. I PROMISE you will notice a dramatic increase in your responses. 

Katie Bessert2 Comments